Body Odor of the Caribbean
by aryn-vernier
Summary: An oh so hilarious parody of the movie
1. Weird Turner meets the Smelly Pirate

_Hehe. Enjoy. It's kinda..Weird..

* * *

Cast of Characters:  
__Will Turner_ asWeird Turner  
_Captain Jack Sparrow_ asJacklyn Sparrow  
_Jack theMonkey_ as Sack the Monkey  
_Elizabeth Swann_ as Fizzy Swann  
_Comadore Norrington_ as Condor Norrington  
_Govenor Swann_ as Wiggy Swann  
_Barbossa_ as Barbooba

**Introduction:**

**Weird Turner meets the rather Smelly Pirate**

Weird Turner was a blacksmith, unfortunately, a really clumsy one. He was hammering on the sword he was making when he missed the sword and hit his hand. For the next five minutes he hopped around the room howling in pain. That is, until a horrid smell wafted into the room. It smelled vague of rotting meat, runny horse crap, and skunk. This was weird, since he had never smelled skunk in his entire life. Namely because skunks are a purely North American creature. Anyways.

"What is that awful smell?" He said while gagging. Soon enough a man ran into the blacksmith shop, the smell was coming from him. Weird stared, horrified before quite bluntly, stating the very obvious truth.

"You smell!" This was said with much disgust. The man simply blinked before lightly sniffing his armpits. Then he gave a nonchalant shrug before meandering over to a sword and examining his teeth in the reflection.

"Well, I can't help that. I'm a pirate you know. It's a well know fact pirates smell." He tried to explain, but he really didn't put much effort into the explanation. Simply because he had explained it over, and over, and over, and over.

"B-but why!" Weird said while he held his nose and tried to breath through his mouth. This didn't work very well, since he ended up tasting the smell, which was a lot worse than smelling it.

"Haven't you heard of BOoTC?" Asked the pirate, turning to look at Weird with a bored look on his face.

"I've heard of PoTC, but not BOoTC, what is it?" By this time, Weird had managed to get away a distance where the stench wasn't as bad.

"Well, PoTC is Pirates of the Caribbean. BOoTC is Body Odor of the Caribbean." The pirate explained, completely straight faced. Any normal person probably couldn't do so while explaining the ludicrous reason. This would only get more absurd.

"What an odd name. How did it come about?"

"Well, you see, BOoTC is a parody of POTC, and we are the end results. You are Weird Turner, the rip off of Will Turner. I am Jacklyn Sparrow, the rip off of Jack Sparrow." Jacklyn said while poking a sword.

"I...See. Who created it?" Weird asked, mildly curious about this…Startling new revelation.

"Well, mainly the writer of this fan-fiction and her step-sister. Back when some television show announced that there was going to be a PoTC 2, the writer announced it and well, it avalanched from there. The two brainstormed and well, here we are. Quite interesting, isn't it?"

"Well, I can't really say. I didn't understand a word that you said to be perfectly honest. I'm not well versed in the language of idiots." Weird replied dryly as he rubbed the hand that he had previously injured with the hammer.

"Oh?" Jacklyn then walked towards Weird, who promptly puked when he came within three feet. The pirate raised an eyebrow before walking over to the workbench and grabbing a jug of water. He walked back over to Weird who was still dry heaving. With a toothy grin, the pirate smashed the jug down onto the blacksmith's head before he swaggered on out of the blacksmith shop and heading for the marketplace. To further spread his stench.


	2. Fizzy Swann and Wiggy Swann faint

It was a pleasant day on some random island, the insects were chirping, not a cloud in the sky, and birds were randomly falling out of the sky. The hero of the story half walked and half stumbled into the town center. Almost smugly, Jacklyn Sparrow sauntered up to Fizzy Swann. A slight grin form on his face as he looked her over. "'Ello, love." Yes, he had a plan. It was a dastardly one, but he had a plan and by golly, he was going to go through with it. What was the plan, you ask. Well, you'll just have to keep reading and find out. After all, the writer of this story may, or may not have a plan. Or she could be writing this because she's trying to get as many pages as possible. Yeah. Whatever.

"Hello, good sir pir- OHMIGOD! P-U YOU STINK TO HIGH HEAVEN!" The young lady shrieked as she tried to pinch her nose shut. Jacklyn blinked and then canted his head to the side quizzically before replying with indignation. "I do not! Besides! You smell like a French primate house!" This retort promptly caused Fizzy to glare angrily.

"YOU SMEELLY PIRATE! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AT ONCE!" She bellowed angrily as she tried to back up in her attempt to get away from the horrible stench. It was an attempt that was very, very futile. Kind of like trying to resist the Borg. Jacklyn frowned before crossing his arms stubbornly and watching as she tried to get away. It was amusing, really. Most people just turned around and run away. This charming lass was trying to get him to go away. Feisty. He liked her.

"Why should I leave!" He demanded, just for the sake of keeping the argument going. The pirate was about to say something else when none other than Governor Wiggy Swan walked over to Fizzy. He was holding a small cloth bag and then he noticed Jacklyn. Wiggy frowned slightly before looking from his daughter then to the pirate and back again.

"Because you reek of...something...dead!" Fizzy yelled, exasperated. Quickly, she started fanning a hand in front of her face to try and get some fresh air. Unfortunately, it wasn't doing any good. In fact, the smell was only getting worse. Much worse. Wiggy, up until this point, had been up wind of the pirate. Then, he moved over to Fizzy, and got a nice big whiff of smelly pirate stench.

"OH!" He covered his noise and mouth with a hanky, "What is that horrible smell!" A disapproving glance to his daughter. "Fizzy! Did you soil yourself again?" This of course, caused Fizzy to blush momentarily. She had gotten over her underwear soiling stage a long time ago. Unfortunately, her father would never let her live the embarrassment down. The poor girl.

"It's that pirate!" Fizzy replied, pointing at Jacklyn who grinned and gave a small wave, "It's him!" Wiggy took a few steps towards Jacklyn, but he only managed to get about three feet away from him before he started gagging. This caused the pirate to grin widely, revealing some mildly rotted teeth.

"Ah-ha! You can't get three feet from me with out gagging! I'm Captain Jacklyn Sparrow…The Smelly! Savvy?" He said, grinning as he watched Fizzy stumble backwards and pull out her handkerchief. Then, she tripped over the street curb and slammed her head against the ground. A good gust of wind caught the stench and blew it right into Wiggy's face and he promptly fainted from the horrible smell. After a moment, Jacklyn walked over to Fizzy and lightly nudged her with his foot. His grin turned into an almost evil look. Well, not really. It was more of a look of smug satisfaction.

"Well. Imagine that. How unus- Hey! Is that rum?" Upon seeing the red colored liquid gold, Jacklyn promptly started foaming at the mouth, and then he took off running towards the local tavern...Which was playing Irish music. So it could really be called a pub I s'pose. Anyways. This was an odd thing, since the tavern/pub was on an island that was in the Caribbean. Well, that's fan-fictions for you.


End file.
